Monthly Archives

January 2015

But I don’t look like them….

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I took my kids to the park the other day.  This park was not located in our town, but in a town about 45 minutes away.  The kids had been begging to go play at the “sand park” with their new shovels, toys, and sand-castle tools!  I was pretty excited as well!

Quick Disclaimer – this is not meant to insult anyone in any way – it is intended to help us all become real with ourselves and WHO we are..just as we are!

When we pulled up, I noticed the parking lot was full (rare for this park).  We unloaded (which is a process with 3 small kids, toys, diapers, bags, and more), but when we finally start to walk over to the sand, I stopped for a minute.  Over by the playground was a group of about 10-12 women.  All dressed very nicely, hair done perfectly, good figures, make up seemed flawless, and it made me want to take my “sweatpants and hoodie dressed self” back to the car.   For a split second, it made me hope they didn’t look at me.  Why?  Why did seeing a group of women bring up these feelings in me?  Why would I be ashamed of myself because of what someone else looks like??

WE ALL DO IT and have all done it!  Comparison is the thief of true joy.  Comparing our bodies, our hair, our make up, our…you name it…with others is never a good thing.  When we feel like we are not like others, we feel insecure.  

So, back to the sand…I put those insecure feelings aside as soon as I took one look at my three amazing kids.  They had smiles on their face, sand toys in hand, and they were SO EXCITED to be at the elusive sand park!  So, we got to the sand and got to work!  We started digging, building, creating, and having a blast.  We had sand everywhere!!  Taylor (my 11 mo old) even ate some of it!!  Yes, mother of the year award for that one 🙂  I kept glancing over at the ladies, and would catch them looking over at us.  In no way do I believe they were talking about us, but it did make me feel judged and uneasy.  However, I just kept playing away with my kids.   At that moment, I was sad for them.  Sad they were missing out on the fun.  I was also happy.  Happy I was able to enjoy these moments with my kids!

All the while, other kids were starting to come over to the sand to play.  These other kids were the children of the ladies standing talking.  As their kids got in the sand, several different ladies yelled out to their kids “Don’t get your hair in the sand, Johny”  or “Do you know how dirty that sand is Sally?”.  I just smiled as we were all COVERED in sand.

Soon, those kids started coming over to play with us!  They saw how much fun we were having building sand castles.  We were laughing, carrying on, screaming for joy when our castles would stick.  Just having a great time together.  

Then, it hit me.  During this sand adventure,  I was able to watch how I have changed over the years.  Obviously, I am not totally healed of it, but I feel I have gotten more confident in WHO I am and HOW I am.  I have gotten better at not comparing myself with other women.  Why?  Here I was having a BLAST with my kids, enjoying these young years (that seem to be flying by), and I felt  about who I am.  I felt like I was doing exactly what I needed and wanted to be doing.   Again, I am not judging these ladies or saying what they were doing was wrong.  I am saying that I can be confident in who I am.  I can wear a hoodie and not have make up on,and be okay with that.  I can also be okay with others that do have nicer clothes on, make up done, hair done, and look better than I do.  It’s not about what we wear, how we look, what size we wear, it is about who we are.  Who we are is always enough!

I wanted to share this with you so that you can see my struggles, in hopes you can relate.   I know all women face these feelings.  We all have struggles of comparison, competition, self-doubt, and more.  I want us all as women to STOP this.  I want us to start to appreciate the women God created us to be.  I want us to be thankful for every moment in our lives with our family, our kids, and to experience life – not waste it with comparison to others.  

So…go play in the sand, don’t worry who is watching, get some sand in your hair and LIVE!

God made each of us, and He doesn’t make mistakes.

 

comparison

The lady in the next booth….yet another diet

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As I was enjoying a nice relaxing breakfast at a restaurant this weekend, I was struck by the words of the lady in the next booth.  Just like many conversations in January (at least where women are concerned), this talk centered around the diet this lady was trying.  She went on and on about the food rules she was having to follow, reading labels like an investigator, what she now had to cut out of her diet, and how she could only eat XYZ.  Then she started lecturing the other ladies about their food choices and “teaching” them what they should and shouldn’t eat!

I sat there, and thought to myself…how sad.  I also thought to myself, how many other people are dealing with this type of bondage of diets and food rules?   The answer came clearly to me…most women are doing this to themselves every day, every hour, every minute!!

Have you been there?  Have you given yourself a million food rules to follow?  Have you judged what others are eating or not eating?  Are you there now?  Trying, striving, searching for the newest “cure” to your weight?

A better question would be – “Have you lived the diet life and then failed miserably and given up?”  YES you have and so has most every other woman in today’s society!!

Why?  Because we all can relate to the woman in the other booth.  We have all tried to fix an inner problem with an outer solution.  Somehow we think that if we can control the food through a diet, we have succeeded.  Somehow we think that when we get to a certain weight we will be happy.  Somehow we think that we can fix all of our problems with getting on a diet and losing weight.  Or, somehow we think that if we follow a diet perfectly we are “good”.  False, false, false.  It won’t work that way.  All of those “somehows” connect food and diets with being good or bad, worthy or unworthy, happy or unhappy.  What?!?  That doesn’t make any sense!  Diets (and sticking with them) will not make us a good person. Just like binging does not make us a bad person.  Our food choices don’t determine these things.  So what do we do?

Maybe we should strive to work on our inner health with the zeal that we work on our outer health.  Maybe we should strive to have some balance.  Maybe we should spend even 1/4 of the time we have spent on food and weight on things like our spiritual, mental, and emotional health.  Maybe, just maybe that if we can work on all 4 parts of health in BALANCE, that the weight and our health will take care of itself.

When we stop trying to fix our life problems with a diet, and start to look inward to see what is really going on at the emotional level, we will find that “fix” we need. By looking inward, we will find that our food and body image problems are often times emotional problems that need attention.  Let’s give those emotions some attention…

How about we stop with the diets, stop with the striving, and start to work on the other parts of health.  By doing so, we will find that our peace, contentment, and most of all our FREEDOM come from all 4 parts of health being in balance.  We don’t have to be looking for the newest latest diet.  We don’t have to compare our food choices with the person next to us.  We are FREE.  Free to listen to our body, and free to listen to our hearts.  The Power of 4 truly is powerful.   Experience it today!

Experience the Power of 4 (1)

–Rachel Curtis

P31 Fitness, Founder

The labels we use…

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As women, we have the tendency to compare, judge, be jealous, envious, and discontent.  We also have the tendency to put labels on ourselves that aren’t correct.  These labels are from our own “lies” we believe, and from what we believe from others.

But you know what?  God wants us to accept ourselves and be happy in Him!  When is the last time you were KIND to yourself?

When is the last time you realized it is about WHO you are, not WHAT you do?
Do you label yourself?  Do you feel like the world labels you?  The labels we put on ourselves only stick if we believe them!
I learned this from a book by Max Lucado called You are Special.  If you haven’t read it, try to find this book.  It has some amazing lessons.  The “labels” only stick if you believe them.  Think on that for a bit!!
   
I believe that we need to stop listening to those labels of the world,  and listen to what GOD says about you as a woman.  Here is what He says: “You are WORTH far more than Rubies.”  Accept that fact and rest in the grace and peace it brings!   Try to hear a message of truth – not the lies from the world.

Remember that if we will work on this area of self-acceptance, we will be much more likely to succeed in all other areas of our lives.  When we like ourselves, it shows!

Labels only stick to us if we believe them!  

WE ARE WORTH IT AND WE ARE ENOUGH!!

May you accept yourself this week and remember that you are loved just as you are!  

 —Have a blessed week!!

Rachel Curtis

Throw away the diet books and be healthy!

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Journals, Logs, Weight loss graphs, magic pills, new plans, charting, tracking…you name it – it’s there!

Who has tried a diet in your past?  Better yet, who has failed at a diet?

Let me tell you something….about 5 years ago, I stopped.

I TRASHED all of my books on diets, plans, and new workout plans.

I stopped searching to find the newest “fix” for weight loss.

I stopped thinking about food, calories, diets, weight.

I stopped.  

Guess what?  I am now FREE.

You know what else?  When I see posts, and diets, and plans online….I run FAR FAR away.  I know that it is like a “drug” to my brain.  It pulls me in, distracts me, makes me unhappy with how I currently look.  It pulls in the nasty word…comparison.  Is that how I should live?  Never feeling good enough?  Never feeling worth it?  No.  Absolutely not.

I know that for me, (and I am sure many of you if you think about it) – all of the diets and focus on health has actually made us worse.  

Let me give you a little background here.  If you don’t know me, I am an obsessive person.  If I have a goal or something I think I should be doing, I do it 100%!  I strive, I try, I work, and I beat it to the ground.  So, in the area of nutrition, food, workout…I let it become something that was controlling my life.  I HAD to workout every day.  I HAD to write down everything I ate.  I HAD to workout extra hard if I had too much to eat.  I HAD to make goals and re-make them and re-make them.  I was OBSESSED.  You know what?  It didn’t get me anywhere but to a place of craziness and discontentment.  It took me to a place of disordered thinking about health and disordered eating.  No one wants to be there!   I was heavier than I had ever been.  I was more unhealthy than I had ever been.   The one thing I was trying to get away from came at me with more force than I ever could have imagined.

Have you ever thought about how much time and energy is spent on thinking about your physical health?  Yes it is important to be healthy, but it is NOT healthy to obsess about numbers, calories, good foods/bad foods, diets, weight and more.  It is not healthy.

Relate the amount of time you spend thinking about your physical health to the amount of time you spend thinking about your spiritual, mental, and emotional health.  Is it equal?  Are you in balance?  Probably not.  I can say that confidently because I have been there!   

I follow this simple rule:  “Listen and Lose” and I created a book about this.  Listening to my body for hunger cues.  Listening to my emotions before eating.  I believe with all of my heart that this is the answer.  I want you to believe it too.  It works and it is peaceful.

Do I still struggle?  Yes!!  But am I in a better place?  Yes!   Am I more healthy than when I was thinking about all of that all the time?  YES!!!  I am free.  

In life, that is what we all need to strive for…freedom.  Freedom in Christ, freedom in our lives, and freedom from the food, body and diet rules that surround us in society.

This new year, I want to challenge us all to live in balance.  I want to challenge us to not get sucked into the newest diet.  I want to challenge us all to be aware of the time we are spending reading diet posts, challenges, researching and more.

Don’t let your goal of being healthy become unhealthy.  Let’s realize that our worth comes from WHO WE ARE and who God created us to be.-not the size of our clothes or the number on a scale.

Take the time to find balance and freedom…..You are worth it!