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September 2016

Brownies, Sippy cups, and Grace

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Yes, I had a brownie for breakfast yesterday.

Yes, I found an old milk sippy-cup  stuck in the toy box that I didn’t DARE open last week!

Yes, I “should” be doing this or that, and I “should” be eating this or that and I “should” acting this or that way – but you know what?

The “shoulds” of life will about wear you out.  

I’m going to challenge us all to stop saying those “should” statements and instead – say this:  “I did the best I could, and IT’S OKAY!”. 

If you are like most women – we continually feel this need to have it all together, have our kids have it all together, always clean out sippy cups after use so they don’t rot, and have the perfectly healthy foods for ourselves and our families.  Plus, most of us struggle to show weakness, and after awhile, this type of living just can’t be maintained!

We all do it.  We all try to measure up to a standard that we can’t reach.  We all try to justify ourselves when we don’t quite get there, and we all forget about the amazing thing called GRACE!!!!  When is the last time you said to yourself… “it’s okay!”?

Let’s talk about that brownie I ate for breakfast the other day…

It is time that we all need to realize something very important in regard to our health and nutrition:  It is not the treats or the extremes, but the everyday habits that make our lives.  This is a powerful statement because we tend to focus on extremes and beat ourselves up over the extra circumstances, when it is really about the day in and day out way that we live.  Are we making good choices most of the time?  Are we doing better today than yesterday?  Are we having GRACE on ourselves?

What if I told you to go eat some a brownie right now?  It may make you happy, relieved, or you may wonder if I have lost my mind.


BUT  – I will tell you something – that brownie CAN BE the key to our freedom.  You know why many people fail at weight loss or at their goals of getting into shape?  It is not for lack of knowledge, will-power, or ability, it is for lack of freedom.

The moment we tell ourselves we can’t have some food…a brownie for instance…guess what we want?  BROWNIES  and lots of them 🙂  You know why?  Because that is bondage to rules that are almost impossible to follow.   Moderation and focus lead to balance and freedom.  The words “it’s okay” are powerful!!!  Legalize all foods and eat things in moderation and this will make a huge difference in our health.


For years, I would hide what I was eating, binge, hide, diet, beat myself up, binge some more, and promise to NEVER eat “X” again.  That was until the next time I felt stressed, bored, lonely, you name it.  It never worked.  It was a vicious cycle.  A cycle that I hated to be in, and that I hate to see others in as well.  It is hard.  When I finally realized it wasn’t about the food – but it was about an emotional/mental issue for me, things started to improve.

So, if you can relate to what I am saying, please know that I have been there.  Stop making it about the food.  Stop coming up with new “food rules.”  Instead, I beg for you to find out what it is that is “eating” you….deep in your soul.  That is the only true way to find the freedom that we all can have in this area of food.  You notice, I said, “freedom” and I didn’t say “perfection”.  That is a big distinction.

I have found when it comes to food, that until we live out GRACE on ourselves, we will never truly be FREE.  I developed our “Listen and Lose” program in P31 Fitness precisely for this reason.  Stop with the impossible rules.  Stop with the beating yourself up mentality.  Stop with the perfectionistic diets.  STOP.  Breathe.  Listen.  Relax.  It’s OKAY!



Now – onto the “super-mom” syndrome someone decided we should all try to follow.  We can’t possibly have it all together as a mom.  We can try, we can do our best, but if our kids aren’t perfectly cleaned, or perfectly dressed, or they throw a big fit in the middle of Walmart…guess what?  It’s OKAY!!  It’s REAL.  It’s LIFE.  And it is not a reflection of the quality of mom that you are!!  Stop saying…”I should do this with my kids, or I should do that..” – Just do the best you can each day and LOVE those kiddos!!!


All of this is tied in really closely to us understanding our worth.  NEWSFLASH – Our Worth is not tied to a number on the scale or a dress size or what we do or don’t do.  Instead, worth is tied to their inner self.  Our hearts.  Our ability to accept ourselves the way we are!  Stop saying “should”.

Instead – say these words…“I will hold myself to a standard of grace and not perfection.”

Some days just are tough.  Some days don’t go as you expect.  Some days you find yourself not acting and doing the things you would like to do.  Some days you eat the brownie.  And you know what?  It is OKAY!!!  It is!!

Yes, that Brownie was really good.

Yes, I find occasional rotten sippy cups.

Yes, I have reacted poorly to people and situations this week.

Could I/should I have done better?  Absolutely – but you know what?

It’s OKAY! It’s OKAY!

The big deal is to move on, start over, ask forgiveness when we hurt others, and accept the grace that allows us to be human, and not to be perfect.

I hope you will stop saying “should” and start saying “It’s okay”.  I promise peace will wash over you as you do!!